17 May Relationship Differences
Remember when you first met your special person? Your focus was on all of the qualities and personality traits you found attractive and liked. How wonderful it felt to be “in love” and enjoying your idealized Special Person. Eventually you landed back on earth and started noticing a few irritating behaviors of Special Person. For many couples, maybe even for you, those irritating behaviors became more aggravating and noticeable until they consumed your attention. Hmmm, irritating – a good word to describe what a piece of clothing feels like when it brushes against a tender bit of burned skin. Special Person’s irritating behaviors may feel much the same way to your sensitized heart. It’s not that Special Person is behaving differently, it could be your perceptions have changed and you have become sensitized to Special Person’s behavior so that you are painfully aware of the differences between the two of you. If this pattern sounds familiar, read on.
Relationships do not have to be fraught with friction due to character differences. Learning to view the positive aspect of differences can help us learn to appreciate one another’s differences through the strengths they bring to the relationship. The next couple of posts will address honoring each others differences as strengths. That being said, bear in mind that any strength (including a difference) practiced to an excess becomes a weak link in the chain. Balance is a key theme where human functioning and relationship are concerned. Expanding the field of view so that we can again see the whole person is also an essential skill for building healthy relationships.